Hazy summer days

I'm finding myself doing the absolute minimum this summer. My desire to blog, cook, clean, or sew has been slowly waning against my wanting to lounge around, read, and go out to dinner. It's so hard to believe it's already July something or other and I still haven't even made homemade popsicles, let alone that purse and apron that have been so patiently waiting for me. Seriously. Where is my head?

I'm not blaming him... but I'm just saying that it could be his fault because he's still getting up 3 to 4 times a night. Still. At this point I would so gladly take 1 or 2 wakings that I want to leap with joy at the thought of so much sleep. But he's only 14 months old you say? I know... he's still so young and I'm definitely of the mind set that it's okay for him to be waking up at night. But what's difficult is that it's me, and only me, that can comfort him at night. He gets so worked up and upset when he realizes Jeremy is the one who picked him up at 2am that he goes into a spasm of maneuvers to attempt to thwart any effort to comfort on Jeremy's part. While I am opposed to having him cry it out alone, I'm not opposed to having him cry with his Dad since he knows someone is there. But really... after 2 hours there's only so much we can all take.

So it's me, all night long. Every 2 to 3 hours I get out of bed, walk to his room, sit in the rocking chair, breastfeed, and rock him back to sleep. I honestly, honestly don't mind doing this. But does it have to be so often? Couldn't it be every 4 hours atleast? (We coslept for quite awhile but he wakes even more when he's in bed with us.)

I'm just saying, that after 14 months of waking so often I'm a little tired. And my brain is a little hazy and it's getting harder to find the energy to do much in this summer heat. So I'm giving myself a little break. Instead we are eating more watermelon, reading more, playing more, and laying around in the afternoons thinking of fun things to do together. I won't feel guilty that we have already eaten out several times this week or that there are clothes that still need to be put away. It's summer, my brain is foggy, and the boys are having fun.

I'm holding out hope that when Fall comes he and I will be sleeping better so I'll hopefully get my head back in gear and all my creative projects that are on hold will get done, I will be more consistent with our eating, and we'll have more structure.

For now, we'll enjoy the watermelon outside while we chase our chickens around the yard and leave the work for another time.

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